By, Nan Claire Falkner
“Upstairs Dearie. That’s right, use the lift – right there. Church donations are in Room #13.”
“Thank you Ma’am,” Carrie whispered, opening the gate and entering the rickety contraption. Carrie remembered Steven’s warning. “Don’t look into the Hags Eyes – Wear sunglasses and your black dress.”
Knocking on the door, she could hear movement as rats scurried down the dark hallway. When the door creaked open, Carrie walked slowly.
“Surprise, Happy Birthday!” Everyone screamed.
“Steven! NOT funny!”
Across the hallway, looking through the peephole, the witch licked her lips. “This be easy!” she cackled to Pyewacket, until she saw Carrie’s cross.
nanclairefalkner 
It PAYS to be religious !!
Thanks Mike! Nan
loved the ending … brilliant 🙂
Good idea to wear the cross! 🙂
Lots going on here. Nothing is quite what it seems – loved it 🙂
Thank you so much. I could have written a fairly good size story on this which would have been fun. – Maybe I’ll save it and write another longer story. Thanks for reading so much! Nan
Dear Nan,
Guess that witch won’t be crossing Carrie. Good one.
Shalom,
Rochelle
I have ridden in an elevator like this before in an old building, but not at night. It gave me the creeps in the daylight. Thanks Rochelle for reading and commenting, I appreciate it! Nan
the uncrossable cross – 🙂 nice take !
I think this is creepier because I don’t know exactly what’s going on, leaving scope for imagination. I think I’d get rid of Steven if I were her. His choice of birthday party venue is more than a bit weird. I love the name “Pyewacket”, but right now I’m hurrying off to get my cross necklace on.
janet
I keep a cross close – especially around Halloween. Pyewacket is the name of 16th century cat and was Kim Novaks cat in a movie from the sixties. It was great.
the image of the hag licking her lips sent a chill down my spine! whew, glad she was wearing that cross
I can lick my lips and cackle like a witch too. Thanks K.Z. I’m glad she was wearing a cross, or perhaps, a star of David would work too, or a Buddha. Or something. Thank you for reading me, I know you are a much better writer and enjoy your and Dawn’s writings so much. 🙂
I’m with KZ; that image of her licking her lips totally creeped me out! Very well done, Nan. You took us along a scary path, then let us feel safe, and whopped us over the head again. Yowza.
Agree with your perspective on down-up-down emotions. Loved the story!!!
Loved your comment – thanks Red Mom
To tell you the truth, Dawn, I can cakle like a witch hag too. I wrote a story once that creeped me out so much I stopped after the 3rd chapter. My brother-in-law wanted me to finish, but all I could see was someone doing what the murderer was doing all the time! Thanks Dawn, I love your opinions! Nan
I think I’d have a hard time staying with something really dark. It gets in my head– the story, and the characters, and if it’s dark, it will stay even longer. You did a great job with this. 😉
Pyewacket — from Bell, Book, and Candle, I believe. Nice spooky story, wondering if Steven is in on the evil doings. And does a star of David work as well?
I loved that movie and loved Kim Novak. I named a cat Pyewacket when we were young – she was just a “mouser” up in the barn but she looked the part. Thanks Perry for reading – I appreciate your comments! Nan
Perry, you can use the Star of David also – of course – or a fairy, or anything..
you, Nan, are always so clever…I too have been in one of the creepy elevators-cool, but creepy…love the story 🙂
I bet you have Sara – I hope you are getting my replies. Have a great week! Nan
You are a very good storyteller, good job! I look forward to the next one. 🙂
Thanks Steven! 🙂
Sort of a down and up and down story- like the elevator right? Thanks Red
Didn’t even get my own joke until now. Funny.
great story!
Thanks Jackie 🙂 Nan
i think there’s a lot to this story that could fill a children’s book as long as the scary stuff is tempered a little bit.
Very true – children would not like it. Thanks for reading it! Nan 🙂
Ooh,I love stories with witches and goblins and the lot !That Steven-how did her know about that hag-fishy,fishy 😉 Good to hold on to one’s faith-a talisman helps too 😀 Fab story Nan 🙂
Thanks so much! I had fun writing story. Maybe Steven is a prankster and enjoys pulling jokes on other people, but this time he didn’t realize there was really a real witch? Maybe. Thanks for reading! Nan
“Jesus saves” has been proved once again…
Halleluiah! Amen! Thanks for reading! Nan 🙂
Nan, Clever writing. Love the short story. Just how old is Carrie? Steve what a surprise for your wife. Aunt Ann
Thank you my other half BTSE (best twin sister ever). Thanks for reading my stories! Nan
Awe Pywacket. Love Bell Book and Candle. Own it actually but I digress. Love your story. Glad Carrie is protected.
What a creative story!
Thanks Riya Anne for reading my story! Nan 🙂
Ooh, I like that one! And I had a childhood friend who named her cat Pyewacket. Never heard the name before or since until now. 🙂
great story, Nan…i can see a start of a longer story developing already – the witch, the surprise party and why that building. wonderfully written!
Thank you Sun! I think I could write a really long story for this that would be really a lot creepier. Probably, anyway. Nan 🙂
creepy stories does seem to be the rage these days…:P
‘Pyewacket’ – what a great name! A creepy twisty turny story.
Oh excellent! You raised the tension, lowered it, hiked it up and defused it. Not bad for 100 words.
Thank you Sandra. It’s hard to stay at 100 words but each week- it’s like a little game with me to see if I can and so far – so good! Thanks, Nan
Ah.. so many twiists in this.. first tension – release – tension – rellease and all in 100 words .. very good.
Thanks Bjorn – I’ve been in elevators like this before and they creep me out. I like your writing too! Nan 🙂
Oh my! You left us just as it started to get scary! What happens next??
Hi Erin! Thanks for reading the story. What do you want to happen next? The witch doesn’t know what to do either. THEY are all protected (at the moment). Nan 🙂
Oh, I like that. As soon as I saw the cat’s name, it reminded me of a kim Novac, Jimmy Stewart movie. Of course, she was a witch and pyewacket was her familiar. Great job. Lucy
I half expected to read the phrase lickity split in there! Good story
A roller coaster. Bravo.
Thank you, I really don’t like riding on a roller coaster, but most everyone else likes them. Thanks for stopping by 🙂 Nan
That witch doesn’t sound very nice…
Hi Bryan, she’s not nice but I think her cat likes her. Yikes, I scarred myself again! Nan
well…as long as her cat likes her, she can’t be ALL bad 🙂
Fun story!
Thank you, Dawn for reading. I love your writing too! Nan
What a colorful story, Nan. I love the Pyewacket name. I understand that’s a cat. What an interesting venue for a birthday party. Thank goodness, Carrie knows what’s up.
Carrie must be a pretty smart cookie and she knows how to handle herself – just in case, she wears a cross. Thanks for reading Amy, I appreciate it. Nan 🙂
Good story. The witch has been foiled again. Well done.
Thanks for stopping by Patriciaruthsusan! I really enjoy your stories too! Thanks, Nan
AnElephant is exhausted after reading this!
So much happening.
Terrific!
OH THANK YOU AnElephantCant! I really appreciate your comment – I do! I love your stories so much! Nan 🙂
Nan,
You’ve packed a lot into 100 words. I thought the birthday party was a good twist. The witch watching through the peep hole added even more to your story. Neatly spun.
Cheers!
MG
Thank you for reading my story – I enjoy writing these stories so much more, I must have a dark side somewhere inside me. Well, we won’t go there. Love your stories too! Nan
Intriguing! That line line was killer. You really told a lot in such a small amount of words. Well done!
Creepy, and a double twist – the party and then the cross. Great stuff!
Doesn’t sound like the sort of location I’d want for my party, mind.
Why thank you Drailman! Location, location, location – is everything for a Haunted Birthday Party. Thanks for reading! Nan 🙂
Good one, Nan.
Thanks Russell, I’ve been looking for you, thought you were on vacation. Enjoy your week! Nan
Witch stories, always loved them as a kid.
Oh that was brilliant! And in 100 words, too 🙂 The witch, the cross, the hag.. powerful descriptors 🙂
Oh, really creepy and sweet. Love the multiple layers in this. Would love to know what happens at the end of the party 🙂
What an imagination, to get a story like that from a picture of an elevator! Good job, Nan!