Archive | April 2014

Elvis Lives!

photoCopyright – Björn Rudberg

By, Nan Claire Falkner

You ain’t nothing but a houndog.” The old man coughed out.

“What kind of guitar is that?” questioned the reporter/singer.

Now listen Boy, this is not a guitarron but a mandolin. On Monday nights I play “Spanish Harlem” with my mariachi band.

And, they all think he’s dead. I got me a Hard Headed Woman and we live In the Ghetto by the Heartbreak Hotel.  By the way, you snot nosed reporter, we’re going to “Blue Hawaii” for our honeymoon!

Elvis, wanna-be, left the building strumming his guitar, singing Jailhouse Rock: “Goin’ to the party at the County Jail…”

                    Aw-hungh!

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7 Year Old, Super Sleuth Catches Plum Creek Crook

PhotoCopyright – Douglas M. MacIlroy

By, Nan Claire Falkner

Around 8 PM, Colby heard someone in the garage. Looking out the window, he noticed a moving truck in the street with his bicycle, TV’s and computers. He snuck to the garage.

As the thief came inside, Colby threw an antique diving helmet on his head knocking him out. Colby ran inside and called 911 – yelling to his sisters to hide in the office. Unfortunately, the thief heard him too. Colby swung his bat at the helmet and it rang like a bell.

Just then, the police came.

Colby got a big medal at the annual Gardner Days Fair.

 

Our Lady of the Beach

dee-2

By Nan Claire Falkner

The celebration and Festival of Our Lady of the Beach was here. The colorful banners had all been attached to the wires with a pole attached to the trees. The portrait of ‘Our Lady’ had been hoisted to the top in her honor. Five years ago, it was Myrna, Zoe’s sister.

As a child, Zoe had envied her older sister because she went to all the parties, staying up all night after being chosen the Saint, but Myrna’s happiness soon turned tragic. On the third night of the festival, Myrna didn’t come home. She vanished.

Zoe was chosen this year.

The Truth About the BAT Theatre

studio-lights-from-kent

studio-lights-from-kent

By, Nan Claire Falkner

The BAT Theatre was famous, but it had a creepy legend. Out of town actors, scoffed at the myth only to leave in a wheel chair. A Priest sprinkled Holy Water and tried blessing it. Pappy, the owner, had promised his wife, Goggie on her death bed, he wouldn’t demolish it.

Kathleen, the organist had allergies, so she hired a new maid, Wanda Woman. Wanda climbed up a ladder and began dusting, hitting her head on the ugly light fixture as two wires fell off the top.

Since then, the creepy bat lantern only glows when no one is around.