Archive | May 2014

Pranks Away

Pranks AwayCopyright – Jennifer Pendergast

By Nan Claire Falkner

“Plebes, since we can’t drink on campus anymore and you still have to go through initiation, when the next nerd walks by, throw the water. Do Not Throw It On A Lady! Or we’ll all be doomed to loneliness the whole semester. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?” The fraternity president said.

“YES SIR!” the pledge class hollered in unison.

“Classes are over in ten minutes!” He added.

An hour later, the members were looking at each other in horror.

“I can’t believe what just happened!” The leader of the pledge class said, looking at the Sorority Mom wet and on the ground.

Tip A Canoe and Beer Too!

Tip A Canoe and Beer TooCopyright – Erin Leary
By, Nan Claire Falkner

“We have 4 canoes and 9 people. Who wants to be beer guy (gets a free ride and, when we portage – he lightens the load by divvying out beer)?”

On the first attempt to get the canoes over the fence, one tipped over. Mike threw the ice over the rails and then jumped down to retrieve it. By the time the canoes were in the water, it was time for a beer break! Then, we paddled down the river. Neil Diamond’s “Holly Holy” was playing on the radio. It was 1970 and I was in Heaven!

How young we were!

Don’t Follow the Herd

Don't Follow the Herd

By, Nan Claire Falkner

Few escaped the shears, but Matilda wasn’t ready to give up her coat just yet. She had a black and white face and was running for her life. “How come they steal our wool?” she wondered.

She ducked behind the blue and white direction sign, waited for the right moment, then merged into the herd that had already been sheared.

“Gosh that was a close call!” she told her friend Bertha that had not been as lucky.

“Where’s our Union Rep?” Bertha said, “He nicked me on my behind this time and it hurt! He drew blood!”

Matilda added. “Ewe!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

After the Tsumani

After the TsumanmiCopyright -B. W. Beacham

By, Nan Claire Falkner

After the tsunami hit the inlet, the village took inventory of the damage. The water reached into most people’s yards and only took the trash by their front walkways.

Sammy and Julie had been lovers since high school with three kids now – always being slow to recover from one of his weekend losses. Sammy gambled away most of their money each week before the first hymnal opened Sunday morning.

The storm had delivered a cart of groceries with milk included. “There is so much to be thankful for”, thought Jules. “The sea taketh what it wants but leaves us something.”


Wax On, Wax Off With His Head

photoCopyright – Renee Heath

By, Nan Claire Falkner


During the wedding reception, Marty pulled triple duty – singing for the bands’ “no-show crooner”, bartending, and cleanup crew.   Now he could buy the baby bed from IKEA Jen had been eying.

In the kitchen, on top of the cake stand had been a wax bride, now melted.   The groom’s figure was missing. Marty followed the tell-tale melting wax hands pointing to the twenty gallon bucket on the floor filled with ice, water and beer.

At the bottom of the bucket, was the “groom’s” severed head.

“9 1 1, what is your emergency?” said the operator.

The Hacker’s Back” Marty whispered.