Up the Down Elevator

Up the Down Elevator

By, Nan Claire Falkner

“Upstairs Dearie. That’s right, use the lift – right there. Church donations are in Room #13.”

“Thank you Ma’am,” Carrie whispered, opening the gate and entering the rickety contraption. Carrie remembered Steven’s warning. “Don’t look into the Hags Eyes – Wear sunglasses and your black dress.”

Knocking on the door, she could hear movement as rats scurried down the dark hallway. When the door creaked open, Carrie walked slowly.

“Surprise, Happy Birthday!” Everyone screamed.

“Steven! NOT funny!”

Across the hallway, looking through the peephole, the witch licked her lips. “This be easy!” she cackled to Pyewacket, until she saw Carrie’s cross.

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77 thoughts on “Up the Down Elevator

    • Thank you so much. I could have written a fairly good size story on this which would have been fun. – Maybe I’ll save it and write another longer story. Thanks for reading so much! Nan

    • I have ridden in an elevator like this before in an old building, but not at night. It gave me the creeps in the daylight. Thanks Rochelle for reading and commenting, I appreciate it! Nan

  1. I think this is creepier because I don’t know exactly what’s going on, leaving scope for imagination. I think I’d get rid of Steven if I were her. His choice of birthday party venue is more than a bit weird. I love the name “Pyewacket”, but right now I’m hurrying off to get my cross necklace on.

    janet

    • I can lick my lips and cackle like a witch too. Thanks K.Z. I’m glad she was wearing a cross, or perhaps, a star of David would work too, or a Buddha. Or something. Thank you for reading me, I know you are a much better writer and enjoy your and Dawn’s writings so much. 🙂

    • To tell you the truth, Dawn, I can cakle like a witch hag too. I wrote a story once that creeped me out so much I stopped after the 3rd chapter. My brother-in-law wanted me to finish, but all I could see was someone doing what the murderer was doing all the time! Thanks Dawn, I love your opinions! Nan

      • I think I’d have a hard time staying with something really dark. It gets in my head– the story, and the characters, and if it’s dark, it will stay even longer. You did a great job with this. 😉

  2. Ooh,I love stories with witches and goblins and the lot !That Steven-how did her know about that hag-fishy,fishy 😉 Good to hold on to one’s faith-a talisman helps too 😀 Fab story Nan 🙂

    • Thanks so much! I had fun writing story. Maybe Steven is a prankster and enjoys pulling jokes on other people, but this time he didn’t realize there was really a real witch? Maybe. Thanks for reading! Nan

  3. great story, Nan…i can see a start of a longer story developing already – the witch, the surprise party and why that building. wonderfully written!

    • Hi Erin! Thanks for reading the story. What do you want to happen next? The witch doesn’t know what to do either. THEY are all protected (at the moment). Nan 🙂

  4. Oh, I like that. As soon as I saw the cat’s name, it reminded me of a kim Novac, Jimmy Stewart movie. Of course, she was a witch and pyewacket was her familiar. Great job. Lucy

  5. What a colorful story, Nan. I love the Pyewacket name. I understand that’s a cat. What an interesting venue for a birthday party. Thank goodness, Carrie knows what’s up.

  6. Nan,
    You’ve packed a lot into 100 words. I thought the birthday party was a good twist. The witch watching through the peep hole added even more to your story. Neatly spun.

    Cheers!
    MG

    • Thank you for reading my story – I enjoy writing these stories so much more, I must have a dark side somewhere inside me. Well, we won’t go there. Love your stories too! Nan

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