Traveling the Old World

By, Nan C. Falkner

She had always wanted to travel.  Stories abound about the Mideast and Melinda Ann had always wished she could really be there.  In 2022, she won a trip on a Travel Channel lottery ticket from work.  REALLY?  Wow, she thought!  She called her husband, Gene who was stunned saying they could work on the dates when they got home that night.  Gene had 4 weeks vacation.  Being a professor at State University had great perks and off they went.

Reminiscing about their trip, she smiled remembering they had had a blast!  Then, she smiled more while holding one the wonderful gifts they brought home.  Twins – girls.

Jokers Abound

By, Nan C. Falkner

All of us, at some time or another, probably feel like we are surrounded by CLOWNS. 

It rarely happens to me because I am probably the biggest clown on the top of the list for all my friends and relatives.  I love them so.  “Clowns to the left of me – Jokers to the right.  Here I am – Stuck in the middle with you.”  Great lyrics   I love that song by Stealers Wheel from 1978.  Gosh – I was young back then.  I was the mother of two boys – soon to be four boys.  It’s been a WONDERFUL RIDE!  A very enjoyable ride, I might add.  “Stuck in the Middle with you.” I do love a good joker when I see one though. 

I married one (Oh Lucky me)!

The Plane Truth

By, Nan Falkner

With the World Trade Centers in rubble, Central Park Tower was top dog.  Bennett sighed as his father retold the history of what happened on 9/11. 

“But Daddy, what happened to the people on the planes?”

Chris hugged his son and kissed his head.  He knew this would bother Benny for a long time, but he needed to know the truth and he slowly took a deep breath.

“They died too, son.”

Benny began to cry and told his dad “Those people that did this are really mean and bad!” 

“I know Benny, now it’s our job to stop them.”   

I’ll Be Right Down

By, Nan Falkner

“WAIT . . . I’ll be right down”, Ann shouted.  “I have to wash my hair.” 

“REALLY?”  He said, waving back.  What is wrong with her?  I don’t care if she’s bald – she’s a babe!   He smiled again and picked some free purple and pink flowers.  After he made a pretty bouquet, he sauntered toward the stairs whistling. 

Grinning with anticipation, and knowing she would be happy when he gave them to her. 

So, up the stairs he went, bouquet in hand. 

Opening the door, she screamed “I just planted those”!

“Gulp!”

Happy Anniversary Honey

By, Nan Falkner

Having our wedding anniversary in the Spring has its benefits. Beautiful weather and soon, the schools would let out for the summer. Her husband tried to make a special day for his wife ever since they married. Gene was a true romantic. This year, Sissy decided she would make a special day for Him.
He loved flying and had flown a plane for a few minutes during his first flying lesson. She thought it would be a wonderful gift for more flying time.

When he opened his card from his wife, he danced around with glee. “I love you too!”

The Worst Smell In The World

By, Nan Claire Duggar Falkner

Once upon summertime, Mike went fishing with his friends to the mountains in the beautiful Colorado Rockies.  They went to a new spot to fish where they had never been before.  It was beautiful and picturesque just like a postcard.

Three days later, they had eaten all the food they brought, drank all the spirits they had brought and all of the beer! They had caught 28 really good trout.

Impressed with themselves, they scaled, cleaned and bagged fish.  Proud and happy, they took them home and placed the fish in our garage freezer.

It wasn’t plugged in.

 

 

(Authors note:  True story. We hired a company to take the fridge to the dump.  The title of this story IS accurate!)

 

SOCIAL DISTANCING IN STYLE

By, Nan Duggar Falkner

After months of quarantine, having gone through all the cool recipes from my mother,  I needed to go to the store.

In the sunroom, I moved some furniture and set two tables with my best china pink Fostoria glasses, and silverware and linen napkins we received as wedding gifts fifty years ago.  I was beaming!   The tables looked awesome.

I was proud of myself!

I decided to whip up a special dinner for my husband on Valentine’s Day.

He loved my one-hour rolls which really are delicious.  Opening the cupboard, I looked for ingredients.

Drat!  I had no yeast!

 

Mother Made My Dress

By, Nan Claire Falkner

“I’m never getting married!”  Millie screamed. “I HATE BOYS!   They think farting is a sport and laugh; they have burp contests to see who can belch the loudest, and play in the dirt and don’t wash your hands”.

Running toward her house, Millie turned, stamped her foot, and shouted “You Stink!”  She slammed the door.

Harold, the boy next door had laughed at her while she was trying to ride a bicycle.

Years later, she looked at the engagement ring on her finger and smiled.  Her mother had made her wedding dress.

Grinning, she said “Everything’s wonderful, I’m marrying Harold!”

 

Waiting in Line

By, Nan Claire Falkner

Every single time I go to the driver’s license department, I wait in a long line.  The Department of Motor Vehicles is so S L O W!  Last year, I stood in line while it rained on me the whole time.   I was freezing and miserable. Marvin, my neighbor was there.  He must have come straight from hunting.  This is the last time I’m waiting in line, I thought.   Next time I’ll pay attention to the mail-in renewal envelope.  I always say I won’t do this again, but I do.  Hey, they told me now I can pay on line!

 

I Can See Clearly Now

By, Nan Claire Falkner

Looking up and rubbing her eyes, Martha knew she was going to have to get some readers soon. She couldn’t read all the words and they squiggled back and forth. “Getting older is NOT for the old – we don’t cope very well with the changes. Yesterday I was young and vibrant and now I have wrinkled hands and a body to match. For a while, she was back in her youth reminiscing about the “Good Ole Days”. The silence was broken by a pint sized boy who said “Grandma, let’s go play!” She smiled. These are good ole days too!