My Red Dusting Shoes

By, Nan Claire Falkner

I am a slug, and have never been good at housework.  Our home was clean enough to keep us healthy and messy enough for us to have fun.  The hall closet was full of junk.

Opening the door, I saw the old clock my grandfather had always kept running.  Remembering the soothing tick tock and hourly chimes at night I smiled.

There’s my red dusting shoes.  No wonder the house is so dirty!

“Maybe I’ll clean today?  Dad will faint!” . . . “Halleluiah, Done!”

Later, Dad came home, turned around, walked out saying:

“Sorry Ma’am, I must be in the wrong house!”

 

Advertisements
This entry was posted on November 29, 2017. 3 Comments

Hot Pants

By, Nan Claire Falkner

The Fire Department was full of pranksters.  The new rookie was a young college student, missing a third of his classes due to the fire department schedule. That was the only way he could go to school and he had permission from his professors.

The first night on duty after going to sleep, the firemen quietly suited up, turned on the red truck lights, then woke the rookie and yelled “Are you coming with us?”  He jumped up, put on his coat, helmet, boots, and jumped on the truck.

The pranksters started laughing . . . for the rookie had forgotten his pants.

 

This entry was posted on November 17, 2017. 26 Comments

Holy Cow

By, Nan Claire Falkner

“Holy Cow Mom, Look how tall that store is!  They could sell everything in there!”  Millie pointed trying to jump out of her seat.

“This whole city is full of skyscrapers.  My head aches.”  Mom said holding her neck with her hand.

“What are we buying, Mama?”  Annie asked.

“Millie needs new school shoes, Colby needs longer jeans, and what do you need Annie?”

“I need a dress, sweaters, blouses, skirts, and new shoes too!

“Let’s go see your Dad while we are here.”

BAM . . . Just then a plane flew into the 94th floor of the building.

This entry was posted on November 9, 2017. 44 Comments

Memory Vases

By Nan Claire Falkner

 “Memory Vases” the sign said.  “Come on In!”  So, I did.  It was a lovely little place with knick-knacks everywhere.  Just the kind of store we used to shop in when together.

While mulling over the color choices, sadness engulfed me.  I missed Ann Melinda terribly and knew nothing would ever be the same. I liked blue – the color of her eyes which had been a deeper hue than mine.  Her husband Alan smiled.  “Yes, she would have loved it.” He said.  After the purchase, we left the store and made our way slowly to the chapel in silence.

This entry was posted on November 6, 2017. 14 Comments

Castle Ruins

By, Nan Claire Falkner

No matter how much bleach and disinfectant they lathered on the sanatorium, people still fell ill to a dreaded disease that had haunted the hospital and sent many unsuspected patients to an early grave.

“Think before you drink” the doctor had said over and over again to Mailee – “Will he ever stop?”

“I hate this place!” she screamed to the mirror.

She proved her madness by pulling her robe tight and snuck downstairs to find elderberry wine in the library and matches on the desk.

After being torched, the disease was eradicated.  Two days later she died of severe burns.

This entry was posted on August 31, 2017. 31 Comments

Holey Bedrock !

PHOTO PROMPT© CEAyr

By, Nan Claire Falkner

“Bird With Metal Beak Bores Holes in Giant Rock” was the caption in the Flintstones Bedrock Daily News.  “Jeepers,” Wilma said, “What a Big Beak He Had!”

“You said it!” Fred added “And, he drilled some perfect circles too!”

Well, the Rubbles were coming for dinner and Wilma couldn’t wait to show Betty the picture from the Rock newspaper.  Betty asked later “How did a bird get a metal beak?” Barney laughed and said “Hey Fred, Betty wants to know about the bird’s beak.”

“Well” Fred fired back “All that bird eats is Iron Ore.”

Barney said  – “Iron OR what?”

A Convenient Phone

By, Nan Claire Falkner

“A payphone!”  She looked at the overflowing toilet kids had stuffed paper towels in.  Hardy Har Har” she shouted – “Not funny!   Saw you Marky – you twerp!”

“Who has a quarter in an emergency?” but she found one.

Dialing the office number, she could see the water encroaching toward her expensive designer shoes – “Damn it – these are new!”

“Please hold” and a fifteen second delay.  “How may I assist you?”  The snotty receptionist said impatiently.

“Sandy – the toilet’s overflowing in the boys’ bathroom.”

“Please hold.”

“Wait!”

Seething, Clara felt water seep around her toes.   Dropping the phone, she sprinted upstairs.