The Facts of Life

The Facts of LifeBy, Nan Claire Falkner

Dad painted the girl’s bath room pink with a pink bathtub, toilet, sink and black tile as accent. He smiled when he saw how happy they were with the mirror he bought at a yard sale.

This was where Mother recited the details of the birds and the bees.

“Yuck – that’s so creepy Mama!” Ann said.

“How could you do such a thing?” Nan cried.

“Girls, if this didn’t happen – you wouldn’t be here – nor I, nor Dad.  No one would be alive.”

“Ohhhhh. . . . . . .We’re not marrying anyone – EVER!”

Mom laughed. “Yes, you will!”


59 thoughts on “The Facts of Life

  1. The advertisement on the back of my “Old Spice” deodorant reads: “If your granddad haven’t worn it … you wouldn’t be here now.” So I thought that if you wore lots of deodorant, you would get lucky. — — NOT TRUE !!

    • Dear Sandra, I was truly devastated! Really, it is the first thing I thought of when I saw that pink & black tile with the block tiles for the window. Brings back fond and disturbing memories! ha ha well, have a good week globe trotting! Nan 🙂

    • Hi Randy, We didn’t hear the ‘bird’ part as much as the ‘bees’. Mother did tell us it all though. Mike talked to the boys – I did some and especially when they started driving. “Delicate conversation,” to say the least! Thanks for reading! Nan 🙂

    • Dear Helen, Thank you so much and I’m thrilled you stopped by! I look back at what we went through and now my daughters-in-law are getting ready for their turn. Your comment makes me feel good Helen! Thanks, Nan 🙂

  2. Dear Nan,

    I remember having the conversation with my eldest son when he asked where his baby brother came from. He was four at the time and said, “EEEEW, I’m never doing that.”

    Thank you for the memories and smiles.



    • Dear Patrick – Yes they got married, and I don’t think they were wrong. At least I had 4 kids. Now my daughters-in-law and sons are going through this.
      Tick-tock, tick-tock, time marches on!
      Nan 🙂

  3. Sweet story, Nan. Oh yeah, we know things will change, won’t they? The mirror set in motion a new phase of their lives. I like your detail about the mirror being bought at a garage sale. It has that feel to it. Nicely done!

    • Dear Amy, Thank you and you are so sweet. I do have a mirror just like this one that I got at a garage sale several years ago.
      Innocence is gone now (not literally – but figuratively. Thanks!
      Nan 🙂

  4. Dear Nan,

    Now they won’t have to. In vitro this and that and sauce donors make it easy to bake a bun in the oven without resorting to all that other stuff. I remember when I first realized what I had to do to ‘have sex’ and my first reaction was a resounding ‘Noway!’, but, as you so aptly wrote, I did. Very well done story.



  5. Nan, My mother made sure I knew how women gave birth, but not how the baby got there in the first place. In the fifties things could be fairly vague. A fellow I worked with said that if it hadn’t been for his wife, they would have still been holding hands. Where my kids went to middle school speakers came and got down to the nitty gritty. They also learned facts from peers before I could tell them. One of my daughter’s best friend’s father was a doctor. Kids today probably know too much, especially if parents don’t use a control on their TV’s and check what their kids are watching on the computer. Humorous and well written. 🙂 —Susan

    • Dear Susan, Times were different in the early 60’s and we were really naive! Thanks for making me smile because your comments are so true! I can remember our girlfriends knowing before we did and I was mortified! Funny! Thanks Susan!
      Nan 🙂

  6. Nan, I’m chuckling over this one! All this because dad redid the bathroom! I remember that color combo! My mom told my sister and I at the same time and we looked at each other like ‘pretty vague’…then she gave us some Kotex booklet – “You & Your Daughter.” That wasn’t much better….still laughing.

  7. 🙂 Good one Nan.. Got your comment at Ruth’s blog.. Was there any settings of my blog not letting you comment there? Just wanted to clarify as I moved from the blogger comment platform to google plus comment recently..

    • Dear Vinitha, Yes, I couldn’t leave you a comment. I’m not very computer savvy, so it probably is pilot error (that’s what my husband and I call it when we make a mistake). Thank you for commenting. Mike had to reboot my computer tonight and I just found this remark you left. Sorry Vinitha but I did want you to know I got it. Thanks, Nan 🙂

  8. getting the facts of life straight from caring and devoted parents usually the best method…or have your kids grow up around farm animals and lessons are learned quite quickly. cute story, Nan.

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