Letter from Homeowner’s Association

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Submitted 1-23-2014 by Nan C. Falkner        Friday Flash Fictioneers

 

Mr. Bob T. Builder

Dear Mr. Builder:

                The Homeowners Association has received a complaint about new improvements made last year that do not fit our requirements. 

                As you signed the Association rules when you bought your home, you agreed that no improvements would be made to your property without written approval from the Building & Permits Division of Home Quality and Aesthetic Beauty: 

                                “The color of gate door is  unacceptable”

                Consider this notice the remedy situation and bring your home into compliance.

Please return the highlighted agreement  below, sign and return it in the provided envelope.

 Thank you.

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57 thoughts on “Letter from Homeowner’s Association

  1. This letter brought loads of laughter, and tears to my eyes. I couldn’t stop laughing. It is all too true, Ha! This is a “Norman Rockwell” story. Good job!!!!

    • Thank you so much hugmamma! Homeowners Associations can make or break your day. We have lived in this neighborhood for 32 years and it’s been interesting to watch the politics of these fiefdoms and the so-called monarchs take the scepter wave their hand and have their proclamation published for the world to see. Very entertaining indeed.

      • We own a condo in Atlanta which we’ve not been able to sell. We’d purchased it when we thought our daughter would be with Atlanta Ballet for a long time. That didn’t work out, which was fine. But now we’ve got a white elephant which we can’t sell because of the real estate market in that city. Fortunately we’ve been able to rent it, but the HOA fees are mind-boggling and we aren’t even on site to make any meaningful protestations as to how they’re spent. So, like you, we’re not crazy about HOAs.

    • That would be something on the news: “At 10 o’clock, we have the latest on the standoff at Winchester Estates between the garden gnome and the Home Owners Association.”

  2. A very clever and entertaining piece, Nan. You took us to a place where only someone who had live through the authoritarian rule of a Homeowners Assoc. would know. All the homes in the historic district of Eureka Springs are subject to such rules. I could never deal with that.

    • It’s been hard – but we have made it this far – It is unbelievable how they operate. Ann’s in Houston, is worse than ours. I know Eureka is like that and you want to say – go eat a bologna sandwich – ask Robert what that means! Nan

  3. You are right on target. I love homeowner associations. I received a notice years ago about a
    10 inch statue in my front garden that I either had to remove it or get a authorization for it from the
    homeowners association. LOVE LOVE LOVE it. Ann

  4. A friend was told by his HOA to remove and dispose of all ivy and pachysandra, which he did–then they charged him for landscaping and disposal services. He’s still trying to resolve that baby.

  5. i enjoyed this letter so much, Nan. love the humorous set up. those associations can get rigorous especially if you have inflexible people running them. nicely done.

  6. Love it, Nan! We moved from an upscale neighborhood with an HOA to the mountains of Colorado where the only HOA is the local wildlife. They don’t seem to care that there is a lot of noise and we have no siding on our house and we probably won’t for several more months.

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